Gaffe a Minute | Wardrobe Malfunctions

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Split Decision
I was studying in my college library with friends when one of them tipped his chair back too far and went thudding to the floor. I laughed so hard I split my pants. But wait! That wasn’t even my gaffe! To check the damage I walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window, which served as a perfect mirror because it was dark outside. Sure enough, I could see a six-inch-long split. But as I straightened up I realized I wasn’t the only one who could see it. A crowd of people had collected outside the window, and they were all laughing at my unfortunate display of floral undies.
—Jillian

Dressed to Chill
As I was getting dressed for work I realized the crotch of my tights was droopy. So I took a fashion tip from a five-year-old I babysat and pulled a second pair of underwear over the tights to keep them in place. Only I hadn’t given much thought to that second pair of underwear: hot pink panties with a rather worn waistband. That afternoon I was walking along a busy sidewalk in downtown Boston with a colleague when she suddenly whispered that something was starting to peek out from under my skirt. Sure enough, those neon pink panties were starting to creep down my black tights. I had no decent way of hiking them back up, so I stopped, let them drop to my ankles, kicked them into the air, caught them with one hand, and casually tossed them into a nearby trashcan as we kept walking.
—Sara

The Blight of Fashion
My husband said my black sneakers looked like janitor shoes and begged me to wear something more fashionable. But when I told my female colleagues his comments they disagreed; really, the shoes were fine. That afternoon, in the train station on my way home, I saw a janitor coming toward me, pushing a broom. A quick glance downward revealed, sure enough, that our shoes were identical.
—Nicki

Comic Strip
When I was in high school, I jokingly announced to a bunch of friends that I was going to do a striptease. As I pulled up my blouse I hummed what I hoped was a good burlesque tune. What they didn’t know: my bikini top was under my blouse. What I didn’t know: that my bikini top would rise too!
—Lynnie