“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
—George Bernard Shaw
When helping a friend mount her horse, are you apt to:
A. Hold out your hand for her to step on
B. Offer your hand but then distractedly withdraw it just as she’s about to step on it
C. Hold out your hand and give her such a generous push that she sails right over the horse
When you’re trying to express your embarrassment in Spanish, are you likely to use:
A. avergonzado (embarrassed)
B. embarazada (pregnant)
When you see a woman with a plump belly are you likely to:
A. Say nothing about it
B. Mention your latest dieting techniques
C. Ask her when the baby is due
When you mention to an acquaintance that you recently ran into her young son with his grandfather and she says, “No, that must have been his father,” are you likely to reply:
A. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I must have confused your son with someone else.”
B. “No, I’m sure it was his grandfather; the man was really old!”
C. “It my mistake. I now learning the English.”
When was the last time you stumbled in front of a crowd:
A. In kindergarten
B. In sixth-grade basketball
C. Last week
In dressing for an important occasion—a date, a job interview, your wedding—are you more likely to:
A. Dress meticulously, with your clothes pressed and tucked in decorously.
B. Wear clothing that is too casual, too formal, or off-season
C. Misbutton, crinkle, tangle, tuck your dress into the waistband of your tights, or pop your tuxedo studs
If you’re with someone you want to impress are you most likely to:
A. Talk about trips you’ve taken
B. Make a trip of the tongue
C. Take a trip on the carpet
Have you ever (give yourself one point for each “yes” answer):
• Called your sweetheart by the wrong name?
• Asked a woman when the baby was due when she
• Unintentionally worn a garment backward
• Confused the words “aesthetic” and “ascetic,”
“penultimate” and “ultimate,” or “nauseous”
• Issued an invitation that neglected to mention
the time, date, or place?
• Told the person slated for a surprise birthday party
that you’d see them at the party?
• Split your pants in public?
• Arrived at a wedding late and found yourself
marching down the aisle just before the bridesmaids—
or just after the bride?
• Popped your shirt studs while wearing a tuxedo—or
your buttons while wearing a dress?
• Assumed the mother of a child was the grandmother?
• Reflexively answered “You, too” to such well wishes
as “Have a good flight” to a ticket agent or “Enjoy
the movie” to the teen in the box office?
• Arrived at a surprise birthday party at the same time
as the guest of honor?
• Invited people to Thanksgiving dinner, dressed the
turkey, and then forgotten to turn on the oven?
• Stepped on the gas when told to press the brake
during a car inspection?
• Mistaken a man for a woman—or vice versa—
on the phone or (two points!) in person?
• Issued an invitation that stated, “The honor of your
presents is requested.”
What was the largest ocean before the Pacific was discovered?
(Award yourself one point for answering anything other than “the Pacific.”)
Give yourself one point for every B you answered and two points for every C.
0–8 Where’s your sense of fun?
9–11 You’ve discovered the wonders of blunders!
12–14 Welcome to the Flub Club
15–17 You’ve achieved Super Blooper status
18–32 You give new meaning to the term
Submit Your Gaffe
See your shame in lights!